Click HERE to book tickets...
10 years ago
3.2.10
Dirty Dike feat. Mr Key - Average Wank Fam.
Here it is - a fantastic selection of badmannings. My personal favourite being Salaryman (1:57).
Dont sleep on CONSTANT DIKESTAR.
1.2.10
ED SCISSORTONGUE'S TRACK OF THE WEEK
Taken from Babu's super smash Duck Season Vol.1 mixtape, Phil Da Agony actually smashes it out of the park.
WET PUSSSIES!!!!!
21.1.10
17.1.10
16.1.10
14.1.10
12.1.10
A Comprehensive List of the NANGEST of the RINSING
Sometimes I can't help but marvel at the number of sick MCs, beatsmiths, singers and artists I have had the pleasure of getting to know personally. So instead of doing any work, I'm going to spread the good word of nang. Click on the mans....
The 3 Amigos - Consisting of Leafy, BVA, and one of the sickest producers in the country, Naive (Who incedentally is producing half of my forthcoming solo album, and its sounding live if I do say so myself.) All jokers, all masters of the craft. Check leafy's blog HERE. They also roll with a mysterious producer named Lord Balrog. Little is known about him, but he's making moves.
Mowgli - This breh is next level, his album '93' has just come out, i'm on a couple tunes, you can buy it here. He is part of the tight 4i2i Collective who you can expect big things from this year. Producers Platitas and Miss Moss provide them with some of the most innovative beatings around and they definately know how to shmerk a live show.
Fliptrix - Is definately putting the work in, his second solo album has just gone to press and features the likes of Jehst, Kashmere, Verb T and myself.
Toyface - Has the voice of an absolute angel, I first met her while stumbling in an acid soaked wonderland at Glade festival many moons ago. At some point when I stop being a bit waste (not waste, just a bit waste, things done changed) we'll do some stuff together, until then, enjoy the tunes on her page.
Kid Genius AKA Suave Debonair - What a joker
Shankles AKA Sneer - Part of the Harmitage Shanks crew. I'm going to say a couple of bold unqualified things now: You CANNOT program drums like this breh. You CANNOT create a more atmospheric soundscape than this breh. Maybe you can. I dunno. But you get the idea. Check his remix of CP's tune Contact Play. It's on this blog HERE.
MY FUCKING GOD IM SURROUNDED BY TALENT. Im going to edit this post to add more and more cos there are so many more but I really should do some work now... More SMBTV coming soon, new SMB mixtape coming soon, new Dike album coming soon, My album coming semi-soon, solo projects from all of CP in the encrusted pipelines. I don't want to say 2010 is our year cos that's some cliche bullsheet, but it would appear I just did. Fuck.
11.1.10
6.1.10
The Coldest Turkey in Town
One freezing turkey sits on a frosted bench on a crisp winters afternoon, besieged on all sides by the lukewarm partridges and temperate quails that strut the woodlands. A snotty nosed toffee eyed prat of a seven year old boy stares up from the muddy puddles below.
"why didnt you get yammed on christmas day, with all them vegetables and all the gravy and the stuffing, and the two kinds of potatoes and the steamed red cabbage, and all that shit?"
He screamed. His drunken mother spun slowly on her rotten toes, but was too busy thrusting three needles into a common oaf to discipline him.
"I was too blitz"
Replied the Turkey. The child guffawed with the temerity of a blinded pirate, boarding a ship of steel plated murderers armed with an antique cutlery set.** The Turkey dryly peeled off a strip of legskin, ready to blindfold the child and waterboard it till it talked. But it was too blitz, and instead it shivered in its own personal antarctic, like a deformed Hansel chained to an obese Gretel, longing for the musky heat of a witches oven.
**Fassbeard the Blind had been swashbuckling since the very first buckle was first swashed by a fat tramp in 1802, but that in no way altered the fact he was shit at it, and had a habit of attempting to board boats that practically overflowed with the hot sludge of aggyness. This he would do singlehandedly, and would subsequently receive the parring of a lifetime. He had been blinded in the Great Eye-Gouge of 1834, but this had only made him more foolhardy. This time however, was different. He had got his hands on an antique cutlery set, and had been practicing with a butterknife all afternoon. He boarded. He stumbled. He was happyslapped. He winced. He hopped. He was kicked and bitten. He dodged. He took some MDeez. He fumbled. He got bricked. His blindly flapping armz settled on what felt like an antique mink ladies mitten. Booty! In reality, man got a dead rat. Success! As he was launched from the vessel by the tree trunkish armz of Pumpface the Fuck, he cradled his bounty like a hot turkey fresh from the oven. TRUE STAUREEZ
2.1.10
DIKESTAAAAAAAAR
THE FREE QUACKPIG MIXTAPE FROM DIRTY DIKE and TWOMANY STEPS.
http://soundcloud.com/dikestar-contactplay/twomanystepspresents-dirty-dikestar-the-24hr-quackpig-rufflin-mixtape
27.12.09
Eastbourne
Forests split in two by asphalt musings
Fog hovers lost over what remains
In-between weather stained branches and berry chains dancing
magpies navigate routes to the treasure trove.
Three pillars fortified fly posted luminous
shopping arcades and chemical silos
Cobel freight ferries docked on the muddy banks of this fair city lost
Flashbacks to Brands Hatch - lines of the railroad rust under the belly of this generation
Cancerous lungs in these petri dish ponds
White albums white wash the hillsides with ivory key conversations
Everywhere around us - down roman roads and up castle hills.
23.12.09
Pythagorus' blues.
Moments in time pass over sections of life
die-cast patterns repeated ...
Infinite angles of brick built steel worked labour day labyrinths bulge among the city limits
Irises widen to soak up the sunshine
Particles gridlock the systems to mush
The only movements I can see aside from shifting ultraviolet beams are invisible...
Winter leaves Autumn leaves frostbitten fossils of forgotten seasons.
This day is everything for every other is lost.
die-cast patterns repeated ...
Infinite angles of brick built steel worked labour day labyrinths bulge among the city limits
Irises widen to soak up the sunshine
Particles gridlock the systems to mush
The only movements I can see aside from shifting ultraviolet beams are invisible...
Winter leaves Autumn leaves frostbitten fossils of forgotten seasons.
This day is everything for every other is lost.
22.12.09
Peppermince Remix
If you dont know about Leafy you're slipping. The man is part of the 3 amigos and the supercrew RLD comprising of BaxterBoshKeyLeafAssaMrDickKidGeniusBvaMC. As well as spitting the type of bars that make your neck do weird things you never thought it could, he makes BEATS. Here's a remix of an unreleased Contact Play track which we called Peppermince. The bars must be about four years old now but still, LeafStar put a nex spin on it so I thought i'd put it up despite the fact my 19 year old voice makes me cringe. Bigtings coming soon from Leafy both as a producer and a ragsone spitter. REAL LIFE DRAMA!!
The Garbled Consequences of Boredom
A frosty morning in the smog drenched capital rears its frozen head. The cogs of society loom over the jaded populus, ominously turning, slowly, but with an unmatched resolve. The jet black tarmac groans under the weight of its metallic masters. The gnarled feet of repression dance on the grey clouds. The starlings and magpies swoop gracefully past the spotless windows of rusty cages, unaware, bathing in the long forgotten juices of untainted freedom, unaware.
The most powerful man in a one metre radius, Jaques Crampgut, sits at a government sponsored desk, wondering if anyone will notice if he uses the office scissors to trim his overgrown fingernails. They probably will, but he does it anyway. Bespectacled line manager Lea Sookhoo sits hunched over his Dell flatscreen, picking at the pixels like discarded pennies on a dusty backstreet. He, like many others, is under the naive impression that Jaques is entering NHSP results from the morning clinic at HR00 onto eSP while clearing the transfer list and updating the NHSSAS, but in the cold unforgiving light of reality, he is writing gully bars to a brand new Naive beat that would blow your nose off if you only had the guts to look it dead in the face.
Rinseout Friday, a snotty soldier on a grassy hillside in 1604 AD, just waiting for the order to charge, fingers twitching, wrapped around a gleaming blade.
Coming soon.
How gay was that?
Its quarter past twelve anyway, time for a grette break, fuck you motherfuckers.
21.12.09
18.12.09
In The Night Garden
It is fair to say that each and every mans concerned has displayed a thorough lack of plant fertilizatoryismicalisms on this very blog of late. Mans need to start putting the plant fertilizer back in the field of dreams...
IF YOU BLOG IT THEY WILL COME.
Updates from my end of the jessop jessop jessop jessop are as follows...
Scissortongue just received a zip from a certain Sci-Fi Stu (one of Scotland's finest) full of beats that do not need any fertilization aside from the vocal-bar-riddled-punchlines-about-lesbian-seagulls-and-ting-vibe...
Stu has a mixtape in the pipeline, I have already heard the first single ft. Vast Aire to name but one of the pattang-yang-kipper-nang artists featuring so waddayasay?
Fancy a bite of my toffee apple? nar? Well at least listen to some beats and write a 16 each piss cunts.
o u t t a h e r e - mans has got online cardigan shopping to get involved in.
IF YOU BLOG IT THEY WILL COME.
Updates from my end of the jessop jessop jessop jessop are as follows...
Scissortongue just received a zip from a certain Sci-Fi Stu (one of Scotland's finest) full of beats that do not need any fertilization aside from the vocal-bar-riddled-punchlines-about-lesbian-seagulls-and-ting-vibe...
Stu has a mixtape in the pipeline, I have already heard the first single ft. Vast Aire to name but one of the pattang-yang-kipper-nang artists featuring so waddayasay?
Fancy a bite of my toffee apple? nar? Well at least listen to some beats and write a 16 each piss cunts.
o u t t a h e r e - mans has got online cardigan shopping to get involved in.
This Blog Is Not Dead. We Can Sort It.
Smoke My Blog...
Had it have been created by a tech savvy squad of highly motivated self-starters, SMBlog (as it will be referred to, henceforth) would now be flourishing in the internet's very own garden of eden. Hits is what a blog needs to photosynthesise, and we must drench its roots in brand new posts to feed it.
However, SMBlog was not grown in the correct manner. SMBlog has become an unwanted and unloved weed. Neglected by it's cruel and horticulturaly-challanged masters. I reckon we all need to get on the 15.21 SMBlog train to a town called 'Rinse'.
I say no more.
Are you a man or a mincer? Come we do this.
"Sort it or abort it" - Malcom Tucker
Had it have been created by a tech savvy squad of highly motivated self-starters, SMBlog (as it will be referred to, henceforth) would now be flourishing in the internet's very own garden of eden. Hits is what a blog needs to photosynthesise, and we must drench its roots in brand new posts to feed it.
However, SMBlog was not grown in the correct manner. SMBlog has become an unwanted and unloved weed. Neglected by it's cruel and horticulturaly-challanged masters. I reckon we all need to get on the 15.21 SMBlog train to a town called 'Rinse'.
I say no more.
Are you a man or a mincer? Come we do this.
"Sort it or abort it" - Malcom Tucker
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