Edward Scissortongue's cotch.
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J-Rap's cotch.
10 years ago
9.3.10
7.3.10
6.3.10
DOMINATION RECORDINGS - MEET THE ARTIST!!
Meet the Artist: SciFi Stu
Please introduce yourself?
I am SciFi Stu a producer/promoter and general underground Hip Hop enthusiast.
From where?
Born and raised the wilds of Scotland.
Music Influences?
I listen to everything from classic hip hop to modern classical… Favourite artists right now are Ligeti, Midaz the Beast, Bibio, Oddisee, Penderecki, Diz Gibran, Ill Poetix, Prolifical, Tha Strangerz, Distrakt, John Robinson, Rodan, Elaquent, DOOM, Madlib,Hudson Mohawke, Shellac, Rachels, Jonwayne, Marvelous Mag, Tortoise. My
tastes are all over the place.
Debut appearance as a producer?
I first officially appeared on either Tha Connection's 'Universal Dominance' or 'Connect' album. I was working with Smoovth Dude on our Rapid Det project. Hus joined us on a beat called Funktions, it was the first track I had out through a label. My very first hip hop collab track was with a UK rapper called Ed Scissortounge it was a great experience working with a like-minded and talented lyricist. My first US collab was with a great rapper called Jameek Karriem we did one song called Control it was a good lesson in international communication and the beat turned out really nice.
Best moment for you in Hip Hop?
Probably getting Public Enemy's 'Nation of Millions' cassette for Christmas in about 1990 and listening to '"She Watch Channel Zero?!"' about 100 times in a row. I then joined the PE fan club and sent $5 out to NY and got a load of promo stuff back!
Who are some artists that you have produced for?
Tha Connection, Prolifical, Ill Poetix, Vast Aire, Sound 0, Remarkable Mayor, Spon, Motown Pride, Jon Wayne. A lot of emerging hip hop artists you should check out!
Your working on your new album, who are some of the artists you collaborated with on this album?
I am working with all the artists mentioned above and hopefully a few special guests I will confirm soon.
Tell us about your company Advantage Music Group?
I knew so many really great artists and just wanted to collect all that talent together and expose their work to anyone who would listen! I released AMG : Chapter 1 with Hus Tha Kingpin and it got loads of downloads and then I took a break to work on my own music. Hus then went on to form the amazing Digi Crates! I started working on bringing together Chapter 2 and released that in mid 2009 in collaboration with Domination Recordings with thousands of downloads to date. Go check the compilations out, AMG 3 and 4 will be out mid 2010.
What's next as an artist?
I am working on my debut album at the moment for release mid 2010. I also have a release scheduled exclusively to Japan due in April. I hope to work on promoting the new single and getting my name out there as much as possible.
Shout outs?
D.J & Domination Recordings, DJ Ready Cee, Hus, Smoovth, Ed Scissortongue & Jameek Karriem. These are the guys who got me into the game! Respect to all my friends at home, collaborators and anyone who plays out or purchases my music. Support NEW HIP HOP!
Please introduce yourself?
I am SciFi Stu a producer/promoter and general underground Hip Hop enthusiast.
From where?
Born and raised the wilds of Scotland.
Music Influences?
I listen to everything from classic hip hop to modern classical… Favourite artists right now are Ligeti, Midaz the Beast, Bibio, Oddisee, Penderecki, Diz Gibran, Ill Poetix, Prolifical, Tha Strangerz, Distrakt, John Robinson, Rodan, Elaquent, DOOM, Madlib,Hudson Mohawke, Shellac, Rachels, Jonwayne, Marvelous Mag, Tortoise. My
tastes are all over the place.
Debut appearance as a producer?
I first officially appeared on either Tha Connection's 'Universal Dominance' or 'Connect' album. I was working with Smoovth Dude on our Rapid Det project. Hus joined us on a beat called Funktions, it was the first track I had out through a label. My very first hip hop collab track was with a UK rapper called Ed Scissortounge it was a great experience working with a like-minded and talented lyricist. My first US collab was with a great rapper called Jameek Karriem we did one song called Control it was a good lesson in international communication and the beat turned out really nice.
Best moment for you in Hip Hop?
Probably getting Public Enemy's 'Nation of Millions' cassette for Christmas in about 1990 and listening to '"She Watch Channel Zero?!"' about 100 times in a row. I then joined the PE fan club and sent $5 out to NY and got a load of promo stuff back!
Who are some artists that you have produced for?
Tha Connection, Prolifical, Ill Poetix, Vast Aire, Sound 0, Remarkable Mayor, Spon, Motown Pride, Jon Wayne. A lot of emerging hip hop artists you should check out!
Your working on your new album, who are some of the artists you collaborated with on this album?
I am working with all the artists mentioned above and hopefully a few special guests I will confirm soon.
Tell us about your company Advantage Music Group?
I knew so many really great artists and just wanted to collect all that talent together and expose their work to anyone who would listen! I released AMG : Chapter 1 with Hus Tha Kingpin and it got loads of downloads and then I took a break to work on my own music. Hus then went on to form the amazing Digi Crates! I started working on bringing together Chapter 2 and released that in mid 2009 in collaboration with Domination Recordings with thousands of downloads to date. Go check the compilations out, AMG 3 and 4 will be out mid 2010.
What's next as an artist?
I am working on my debut album at the moment for release mid 2010. I also have a release scheduled exclusively to Japan due in April. I hope to work on promoting the new single and getting my name out there as much as possible.
Shout outs?
D.J & Domination Recordings, DJ Ready Cee, Hus, Smoovth, Ed Scissortongue & Jameek Karriem. These are the guys who got me into the game! Respect to all my friends at home, collaborators and anyone who plays out or purchases my music. Support NEW HIP HOP!
3.3.10
ED SCISSORTONGUE'S TRACK OF THE WEEK
Probably my favourite song ever in the history of my earballing activites.
Need I say more?
Need I say more?
2.3.10
Z O O M T R O N
Fathom Fandango flashbacks
A man with several trillion hands fans the flames of bi-centennial lands...
distances triple like petri dish band camps
and I have no idea how this land mass laps land scraps
elliptical planet flight paths stand back from galaxy black holes and intergalactic sand traps
so stand back...
Anamatronic DNA strands snap like rickety Indiana Jones temple of doom-esque bridges in search of the crowns of goddesses on scam scraps and blank maps
that highlight surfing tsunami's and moonwalking tanned planks surrounded by legions of savages and spear wielding mad chaps that dance till the sky cracks and constellations shower planets like water from man taps
My mind grips patterns tighter than Van Damme's hand clamps
and that's that.
27.2.10
Giving it the BIG spuds.
When BIG is not sitting at home watching the Tom Hanks classic 'BIG' (on repeat) or frequenting student bars with enough K cider cans in his rucksack to last him until bog-it-o-clock, he spends his time climbing walls, fences and drainpipes on a relentless quest to vandalise our fair city.
I first met BIG during my cricket days circa 98'. BIG was the county's finest batsmen and I was a 90 mph seamer. I turned to writing speed garage bars and he turned to graff. The rest is history.
I caught up with BIG for a chat about his nihilistic activities but he was too spangled on K cider and shots of Toilet Duck to string together a single sentence. He tried to tag my face with a rusty K cider can so I confiscated his fake ID and gave him a verbal warning.
Check him out.
.JPG)
I first met BIG during my cricket days circa 98'. BIG was the county's finest batsmen and I was a 90 mph seamer. I turned to writing speed garage bars and he turned to graff. The rest is history.
I caught up with BIG for a chat about his nihilistic activities but he was too spangled on K cider and shots of Toilet Duck to string together a single sentence. He tried to tag my face with a rusty K cider can so I confiscated his fake ID and gave him a verbal warning.
Check him out.
.JPG)
26.2.10
MR PENFOLD PRESENTS 'SAMEBRIDGE'
Amid the bicycle ridden streets of Cambridge Mr Penfold lurks. Observing characters, then re-creating them on walls and canvas’.
Using strong linear elements against organic outlines with an overly scientific approach to colour, Penfold works with record labels, promoters and clothing companies and has also appeared in a range of magazines such as Graphotism, K Mag and Don’t Panic!
Penfold is one of Cambridge’s hidden gems.
'Samebridge'
Putting his perfectionist skills to good use (and his trusted colour wheel), Mr Penfold intends to make The Frontroom hum with lines of clashimentary colour.
Amongst the lines, characters will be loitering with intent, interacting with the undeviating forms and generally enjoying their stay.
*PRIVATE VIEW: FRIDAY FEBRUARY 26TH - 6PM ONWARDS!!
25.2.10
EPSILON
Requiems and Epitaphs
Crossbows and Catapults
Zenomorph hyperlinks and half hearted antidotes
Amongst the sundries - A flea market forager
Foraging through memories and funeral suits
Harpsichord wind whistles tickle my mind bristles frivolous
swept over pastures like metal detectors over sand dunes in summertime
This is how my heart behaves
A dictator inside my sinews like Alligators in the sewer pipes
The last laugher laughing
Out
FLIPTRIX - DREAM COAT
To say that Fliptrix is on the grind is an understatement. Here is the second video from his sophomore release 'Theory of Rhyme'.
His latest effort does not disappoint.
MANS GOT BARS!!!!
www.myspace.com/mrfliptrix
www.fliptrixmusic.com
www.suspect-packages.com
His latest effort does not disappoint.
MANS GOT BARS!!!!
www.myspace.com/mrfliptrix
www.fliptrixmusic.com
www.suspect-packages.com
SMB IS FIVE YEARS OLD...
Just about.
To commemorate such a momentous occasion said gang are plotting an Easter bash to celebrate 5 years of debauched tomfoolery, pickled egg freestyle cyphers, eurospanning mega rinse outs and the resurrection of our holy father all in equal measure.
You can expect an array of brilliance all under one roof. Line up is yet to be confirmed 100% and party hats still have to be decorated with tinsel and glitter and sparklers. Here is a video of the last night we put on, only two people came but we still vibed out.
To commemorate such a momentous occasion said gang are plotting an Easter bash to celebrate 5 years of debauched tomfoolery, pickled egg freestyle cyphers, eurospanning mega rinse outs and the resurrection of our holy father all in equal measure.
You can expect an array of brilliance all under one roof. Line up is yet to be confirmed 100% and party hats still have to be decorated with tinsel and glitter and sparklers. Here is a video of the last night we put on, only two people came but we still vibed out.
MEAT AND TWEET
Being a vegetarian does not stop me from appreciating the almost limitless potential for using meat products as accessories for 21st century living. Apparently Sales of CJ Corporation's snack sausages are on the increase in South Korea because of the cold weather and personally I can see why.
DAYLIGHT ROBBERY
I occasionally used to dabble in the odd vandalism blaow-fest here and there. I wont reveal what I used to write because I am confident that a) no-one would have seen or heard of me and b) I will be heckled from all angles for being one of the least prolific and most retarded graffiti writers of all time.
Let's just say that if I did reveal what I used to write that the authorities would not deploy a fleet of airborne choppers FOR SHIT. The trouble with the whole graff thing is that I don't have the balls for it. The adrenalin rush was all too much for me and that made my efforts even worse than what would be described as an absolutely cataclysmic piles of mess by all onlookers anyway.
Myself + a bag of paint x by an L-patch = prang out extraordinaire.
These guys do not share the same paranoia (and essentially bitch) related problems that cut my insipidly short lived dabblings within the graff world to an abrupt end. Are the authorities in Russia ruthlessly short of numbers? Or are this gang mental-do-not-give-a-flying-fuck-die-for-the-cause-whole-car-nutbars? The piece is pretty awful but that does not take anything away from them painting it during the rush hour commute.
Let's just say that if I did reveal what I used to write that the authorities would not deploy a fleet of airborne choppers FOR SHIT. The trouble with the whole graff thing is that I don't have the balls for it. The adrenalin rush was all too much for me and that made my efforts even worse than what would be described as an absolutely cataclysmic piles of mess by all onlookers anyway.
Myself + a bag of paint x by an L-patch = prang out extraordinaire.
These guys do not share the same paranoia (and essentially bitch) related problems that cut my insipidly short lived dabblings within the graff world to an abrupt end. Are the authorities in Russia ruthlessly short of numbers? Or are this gang mental-do-not-give-a-flying-fuck-die-for-the-cause-whole-car-nutbars? The piece is pretty awful but that does not take anything away from them painting it during the rush hour commute.
24.2.10
ED SCISSORTONGUE'S TRACK OF THE WEEK
If I am not mistaken this is one of the most mindbogglingly jokes music videos ever created. The video is better than the tune but the tune is still FOG ON THE TYNE IS ALL MINE ALL MINE FOG ON THE TYNE IS ALL MAIIIYYYNNNEEEEEEEE.
WHO SAID CORNWALL WAS BORING?
A fin whale has beached on the coast of Cornwall. But where has the 56ft beast come from? And what will happen if it explodes?
The mystery of the 100-tonne whale
Of all the deputations from the deep, a beached whale is the most astounding. Not just because of its size, but also because of the terrors it holds for the humans who may confront it. A stranded whale was once regarded as an ill omen; a right whale that stranded in the Thames in 1658 was widely seen as an augury of the death of Oliver Cromwell. Even now, the arrival this week of a 100-tonne, 56ft (16.9m) fin whale on Portowan Beach in Cornwall is a remarkable phenomenon – not least because Balaenoptera physalus is second only to the blue whale in size, reaching up to 85ft in length.
It belongs to the family of rorqual whales, so-called for the pleated ridges (from the Norwegian for furrow) that line their bellies. Foraging entirely on small fish, fin whales take great gulps of sea water to trap their prey, expanding their stomachs like concertinas and filtering their food through plates of baleen in their mouths (the whalebone once prized by corset-makers). Fin whales are unique among whales in being assymmetrically marked: the righthand side of their lower parts is a soft, dove-like grey; the left, much darker. Scientists hypothesise that the whales use this pale side to "flash" their prey and herd them into place.
I've seen these animals many times off Provincetown, Cape Cod: to have one swim under the boat is a deeply strange feeling. Diving below, the creature never seems to end, until it emerges at the other side with an explosive whoosh! from its twin blowholes. Watching its sleek dorsal fin scythe through the water, I'm always reminded that fin whales are the fastest of all great whales, dubbed the greyhounds of the sea and able to swim at 24 knots.
Too fast for 19th-century hunters of Herman Melville's era; only with the invention of the grenade harpoon did these speedy cetaceans (the name for this suborder) come within reach. The 20th century saw an unprecedented cull of rorqual whales in the Southern Ocean, by factory ships from the Falklands and South Georgia, as well as Norwegian, Soviet and Japanese fleets. And fin whales suffered the worst casualties of all: 720,000 were killed in the Southern Hemisphere alone.
This particular animal probably died as a result of a shipstrike in the Bay of Biscay – where lucky ferry passengers may occasionally see these leviathans swimming across the bows. The skeleton of one such casualty, found in Andalucia, was used by the contemporary Mexican artist Gabriel Orozoco in an installation in London's White Cube gallery in 2006. The Cornish whale, however, has drifted into royal hands. Extraordinarily, a still extant 14th- century edict determines that any whale, dolphin, sturgeon or porpoise washed on to English shores is the property of the monarch, a relic of an age when a whale represented great wealth.
Since whales are of little use to Buckingham Palace these days, that responsibility now devolves to the Receiver of Wreck, Alison Kentuck. From her office in Southampton, Kentuck tells me that the whale, a female, had been seen floating at sea for a day or so, and is now in a rocky, inaccessible cove. "We're waiting for a predicated storm to come along and wash it along to somewhere where it will be easier to deal with," she says. "It's already quite badly decayed – apparently you can smell it from the clifftop. Although since it's now on Duchy of Cornwall land, it's actually the property of the Prince of Wales – or perhaps that should be the Prince of Whales?"
Apart from cracking bad jokes, one of Kentuck's tasks is to prevent public interaction with beached whales. The carcasses can communicate zoonotic, or inter-species disease (as can live whales, a warning for anyone within spouting distance of a cetacean), or worse. The buildup of gases in an animal's stomach can cause a whale to expand to bursting point – in 1617, a sperm whale beached at Scheveningen in the Netherlands exploded, fatally infecting bystanders. Indeed, the artist Albrecht Dürer, in his eagerness to reach a similarly stranded whale on Denmark's Zealand coast, caught a fever from the marsh, and likewise perished as a result. It seems that in the case of the whale, the meeting of human history and natural history is seldom a happy one.
Kentuck's first duty is to offer a beached whale to the Natural History Museum; a necropsy may be carried out by the Zoological Society of London. But generally, the animal is destined for the dump. In the past, Kentuck has ordered plant machinery to tear the carcasses into manageable chunks before disposal in a local landfill. It is an ignominous end for such an exquisite creature; but perhaps a better fate than that facing its cousins in the Southern Ocean where, under the guise of "scientific research", a Japanese whaling fleet is even now harpooning fin whales destined not for the laboratory, but for the supermarket counter.
The mystery of the 100-tonne whale
Of all the deputations from the deep, a beached whale is the most astounding. Not just because of its size, but also because of the terrors it holds for the humans who may confront it. A stranded whale was once regarded as an ill omen; a right whale that stranded in the Thames in 1658 was widely seen as an augury of the death of Oliver Cromwell. Even now, the arrival this week of a 100-tonne, 56ft (16.9m) fin whale on Portowan Beach in Cornwall is a remarkable phenomenon – not least because Balaenoptera physalus is second only to the blue whale in size, reaching up to 85ft in length.
It belongs to the family of rorqual whales, so-called for the pleated ridges (from the Norwegian for furrow) that line their bellies. Foraging entirely on small fish, fin whales take great gulps of sea water to trap their prey, expanding their stomachs like concertinas and filtering their food through plates of baleen in their mouths (the whalebone once prized by corset-makers). Fin whales are unique among whales in being assymmetrically marked: the righthand side of their lower parts is a soft, dove-like grey; the left, much darker. Scientists hypothesise that the whales use this pale side to "flash" their prey and herd them into place.
I've seen these animals many times off Provincetown, Cape Cod: to have one swim under the boat is a deeply strange feeling. Diving below, the creature never seems to end, until it emerges at the other side with an explosive whoosh! from its twin blowholes. Watching its sleek dorsal fin scythe through the water, I'm always reminded that fin whales are the fastest of all great whales, dubbed the greyhounds of the sea and able to swim at 24 knots.
Too fast for 19th-century hunters of Herman Melville's era; only with the invention of the grenade harpoon did these speedy cetaceans (the name for this suborder) come within reach. The 20th century saw an unprecedented cull of rorqual whales in the Southern Ocean, by factory ships from the Falklands and South Georgia, as well as Norwegian, Soviet and Japanese fleets. And fin whales suffered the worst casualties of all: 720,000 were killed in the Southern Hemisphere alone.
This particular animal probably died as a result of a shipstrike in the Bay of Biscay – where lucky ferry passengers may occasionally see these leviathans swimming across the bows. The skeleton of one such casualty, found in Andalucia, was used by the contemporary Mexican artist Gabriel Orozoco in an installation in London's White Cube gallery in 2006. The Cornish whale, however, has drifted into royal hands. Extraordinarily, a still extant 14th- century edict determines that any whale, dolphin, sturgeon or porpoise washed on to English shores is the property of the monarch, a relic of an age when a whale represented great wealth.
Since whales are of little use to Buckingham Palace these days, that responsibility now devolves to the Receiver of Wreck, Alison Kentuck. From her office in Southampton, Kentuck tells me that the whale, a female, had been seen floating at sea for a day or so, and is now in a rocky, inaccessible cove. "We're waiting for a predicated storm to come along and wash it along to somewhere where it will be easier to deal with," she says. "It's already quite badly decayed – apparently you can smell it from the clifftop. Although since it's now on Duchy of Cornwall land, it's actually the property of the Prince of Wales – or perhaps that should be the Prince of Whales?"
Apart from cracking bad jokes, one of Kentuck's tasks is to prevent public interaction with beached whales. The carcasses can communicate zoonotic, or inter-species disease (as can live whales, a warning for anyone within spouting distance of a cetacean), or worse. The buildup of gases in an animal's stomach can cause a whale to expand to bursting point – in 1617, a sperm whale beached at Scheveningen in the Netherlands exploded, fatally infecting bystanders. Indeed, the artist Albrecht Dürer, in his eagerness to reach a similarly stranded whale on Denmark's Zealand coast, caught a fever from the marsh, and likewise perished as a result. It seems that in the case of the whale, the meeting of human history and natural history is seldom a happy one.
Kentuck's first duty is to offer a beached whale to the Natural History Museum; a necropsy may be carried out by the Zoological Society of London. But generally, the animal is destined for the dump. In the past, Kentuck has ordered plant machinery to tear the carcasses into manageable chunks before disposal in a local landfill. It is an ignominous end for such an exquisite creature; but perhaps a better fate than that facing its cousins in the Southern Ocean where, under the guise of "scientific research", a Japanese whaling fleet is even now harpooning fin whales destined not for the laboratory, but for the supermarket counter.
23.2.10
DON'T TREAD ON THIS
I get enough beef from enough mans who tell me that my love for the beautiful game is sacriligiously gay. I just laugh it off and then head to the pub to clock Super Sunday.
This video is for all the haters - as I have always said, football and rap goes together like peas and carrots.
Clint Dempsey plays for Fulham and the U S of A - he also raps EXPLOSIVE DYNAMITE BARS.
The only problem is that he appears to buy those 20 dollar beats off my space.
This video is for all the haters - as I have always said, football and rap goes together like peas and carrots.
Clint Dempsey plays for Fulham and the U S of A - he also raps EXPLOSIVE DYNAMITE BARS.
The only problem is that he appears to buy those 20 dollar beats off my space.
Contact Play LIVE. Plymouth, 17th March.
Looks like it's going to be a good couple of months. I'm already feeling very gang about R. A. this Sunday. AND we're going to be supporting Souls Of Mischief at the White Rabbit in Plymouth on St. Patrick's Day. Have a go on this as well.
VINYL IS OFFICIALLY DEAD NOW...
Clock this Parisian joker. Absolutely smashing it on the tape scratch.
FUCK SERATO AND FUCK VINYL...
FUCK SERATO AND FUCK VINYL...
22.2.10
SMBTV EPISODE THREE
This is SMBTV Episode three. Features a snippet of us rehearsing for a show where dike drops a verse off his forthcoming sophomore album Constant Dikestar, and key being a premium weird bastard.
GOD SPOKE WORDS THAT MADE SENSE TO ME
Oliver the van is coming to a crack house near you. It is fair to say that there is not a single safe strip of tar mac left on the planet.
I spent a chunk of my Sunday driving around the countryside on a mission to find a farm in a village called 'Washaway'. Once said farm had been located the hidden treasures that unsurfaced did not disappoint.
Aside from the van itself being a pile of vehicular rudeness, I found myself immersed in all sorts of strange signs and signals that were screaming out to me BUY THIS VAN AND BUY IT NOW.
The dude in the picture is called Oliver AND SO IS THE VAN!!!!!!
enough said.
AND LOOK AT HIS FUCKING JUMPER!!!!
I spent a chunk of my Sunday driving around the countryside on a mission to find a farm in a village called 'Washaway'. Once said farm had been located the hidden treasures that unsurfaced did not disappoint.
Aside from the van itself being a pile of vehicular rudeness, I found myself immersed in all sorts of strange signs and signals that were screaming out to me BUY THIS VAN AND BUY IT NOW.
The dude in the picture is called Oliver AND SO IS THE VAN!!!!!!
enough said.
AND LOOK AT HIS FUCKING JUMPER!!!!
BEHOLD!
Revel in the unadulterated majesty of the freshly purchased Contact Play van.... Look at it. Look at it again. Soon the brass New Zealand flag will have been turfed from the side to make way for a stunningly realistic image of a mans face, beaten to a pulp by twenty sovereign ringed fists, and the empty space inside will be replaced by one hundred goons. If you see it rolling through your ends, I suggest you run for your life and call the authorities, as we would most likely be about to commit a stunningly accurate egg and cod drive-by on the latest chief who we deem to have disrespected our hustle. GANG.
Gang!: Sex Money Murder
This week, Sex Money Murder are my chosen gang... Gang... Gang... Gang... S.M.M. or $.M.M. are a few nice guys from the Bronx. Their hobbies include: Drug Trafficking, Racketeering, Armed Robbery, Assault, Conspiracy, Attempted Murder and the ever popular Murder.
This is a few members in their mum's bedroom, dancing and basically giving it the big spuds.
This is a few members in their mum's bedroom, dancing and basically giving it the big spuds.
21.2.10
THE INVISIBLE MAN.
Check out this mentalist. He clocks a space and then paints himself to fit in with the background. I would very much like to meet him but the chances are I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO FIND HIM THOUGH!!!!!
ED SCISSORTONGUE'S MESSAGE OF THE WEEK.
Hoggle has got the right idea. Why waste your rohypnol on Archer shots at the bar when you can stick that shit straight in an actual peach? Sarah has a fucking whale of a time anyway. Masked balls and Bowie giving her the evil rangoose.
It is all about the date rape tag team. Bowie + 5 quid x hoggle / by a handshake = foolproof, risk free smashing.
She does end up in a rubbish tip of depression though.
STANDARD.
It is all about the date rape tag team. Bowie + 5 quid x hoggle / by a handshake = foolproof, risk free smashing.
She does end up in a rubbish tip of depression though.
STANDARD.
JACK MILLNER AKA J MILLY
I just received this remarkable assortment of words in my fassbook inbox from a long time bredrin and associate of mine J Milly, currently womanising his way through Argentina:
He was completely cured after just eight short months at the institution.
Contrary to initial expectations, he wowed the team of specialists assigned to his case, previously unanimously convinced that progress was impossible.
His rapid rehabilitation cast doubt on a number of studies in the field, previously upheld as irrefutable fact, and became the subject of numerous case studies by young upsarts writing their doctorates, eager to challenge accepted truths in their subject.
His recovery even attracted some media attention, and his picture appeared in newspapers amongst a swarm of grinning physicians.
For these reasons, notwithstanding his undeniable visible and documented improvements, he was discharged from the institution back into the community, and even given his old job back at the fun-fair, operating the merry-go-round.
Then the children started going missing again.
20.2.10
DiRTY DIKE IS SHIT AT WII ALSO
Dike also went through extensive therapy to deal with his addiction to the Nintendo Wii. His therapist, Dr dikesacock concluded that the root of the problem was probably linked to his dog trying to bang him everytime he got to level 5.
AN OLD SCHOOL VIDEO OF DIKE...
This is from back in the day. I don't know how many of you know a strange place Iselham (a pony village on the outskirts of Cambridge). Anyway, this place is inhabited by nuff emo's that play a fuck load of Call Of Duty. Dirty Dike hails from Iselham and used to play up to 17 hours straight. That is, until, he fell out of love with the franchise after playing the sequel to the original classic release.
Dike will hate me for putting this up as it will almost make him relapse back to the mammoth sessions that once dominated his life, but I do not care...
CALL ME PRETENTIOUS AGAIN AND I WILL CONFISCATE YOUR X-BOX CONTROLLER.
PS - Get a haircut.
Dike will hate me for putting this up as it will almost make him relapse back to the mammoth sessions that once dominated his life, but I do not care...
CALL ME PRETENTIOUS AGAIN AND I WILL CONFISCATE YOUR X-BOX CONTROLLER.
PS - Get a haircut.
DIRTY DIKE
If i had extendable Dhalsim arm apparatus that could extend somewhere in the region of 330 miles I would bitch slap your face into an irreversibly fucked state.
Oh hang on it already is.
Oh hang on it already is.
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