Semi-Dead Man On Live Chirpse.


A lot to learn.

I think it is important to embrace variety in life. If you don't rate twiglets (for example) it is still worth trying one say every 5 years because you might change your fucking mind about them. I rated wagon wheels as disgraceful for much of my childhood, but after nicking and devouring an entire 12 pack from Ry-dem's kitchen cupboard the other day before 5-a-side, I discovered that they were actually the gullyest snack on the market.

All I am saying is this breh has got it locked in a million ways; wardrobe, instrument usage, language selection. Start taking notes as soon as you hit play on the video.



On The Count Of Three...

Right so lets get this strait... Some dickhead with a massive crew, dressed in riot gear with dogs decide to rough up a geezer on his way home as a result he dies from a heart attack. Unfortunately for the dickhead in particular, someone was filming him. Now, if I was on road with a baton, CS gas, a shield and a few thousand bredrins and I killed someone AND someone was filming me, I'd be wearing bracelets. It's funny how police are always getting found innocent.


Holby Hawaii

I’ve recently hung up my narcotic shoes for a brief stint of studious sobriety. Anyone who’s booted the beast will know that one of the more decent aspects of the process is a return to the dreams. The past few nights have been littered with oddities of all shapes and sizes. Unlike numptys, I don’t claim to have gained any real insight or anything like that, but it has been pretty entertaining...

Holby City Hawaii: medical emergency’s and interpersonal dramas play themselves out against a backdrop of sun, sea, sand and big bronze tits. In what is apparently the latest in a series of increasingly complex stunts designed to win the approval of colleagues and superiors, up and coming medical maverick Lee Jason (me?) has attached the perfectly preserved corpse of Christopher Wallace to a large parachute. The parachute, painted with an exact match of the Hawaii sky, is anchored to a large rectangularl box, which has itself been decorated with a skillfully executed photorealist sandy beach design. With the help of two faceless (literally) friends, Lee has managed to suspend Christopher over the sea in such a way that he appears to float unaided above the water. Lee Jason expects that the sight of Mr Smalls levitating mysteriously above paradise will provoke such a sense of wonder in hospital employees that his bosses will have no choice but to promote him to a more superior position, much to the chagrin of his competitors.

The operation, which involves much heaving and hoing, leaves Lee and his accomplices in a tired but triumphant state. Sitting on the beach at sun rise, watching the corpse bob gently in the wind they begin to reminisce. Faceless friend A, who knew Christopher personally, launches into an account of an incident he witnessed some years prior. On a daredevil hovercraft expedition into the alligator infested Florida keys, Faceless A, Christopher and the captain; Florida’s spackout answer to Michael Knight, collided with a felled tree, which, positioned at a roughly 45 degree angle, acted as a giant natural ramp. Traveling at a breakneck speed, the hovercraft was launched high into the air, throwing the captain and Faceless A clear of the vehicle and clean into the water below. Christopher, made of somewhat stronger stuff managed to cling to the tail end and pull himself back onto the platform of the unmanned craft, which had continued at full speed, untroubled by the collision. He proceeded to bring the hovercraft under control, using nothing but his gift for tongues and ways with words. This was an impressive feat, given that he was dealing with an extremely insubordinate kit style futureboat which was initially unresponsive to his demands. Faceless A refrained to explain either how he survived the ordeal or how he came to be working in Holby Hawaii, apparently these are unimportant details. He did however tell his freinds the following; it is a little known fact that despite achieving massive success in the 'rap game', Christopher Wallace remained unfulfilled at the time of his death. His real ambition, to conquer the sky's and the seas, had taken a backseat to the destructive feud which many claim resulted in his brutal murder. Watching his lifeless cadaver hang above the sea, Faceless A couldn’t help but feel that the mornings endeavors had been the only proper thing to do, in keeping with the dying wishes of a complicated, contradictory and sensetive soul.

This tale took a while to recount and by the time Faceless had finished, the sun was shining brightly over the beach, and the hospital employees were arriving to work. Confronted with the majestic spectacle they reacted, but not quite as Lee Jason had hoped. One senior and influential doctor remarked to another, ‘I cant believe he got Mike Tyson’....

..... At which point I woke up. Needless to say this dream was a comprehensive crackout. I can only hope for many more like it in the sober work based days to come. Stay tuned goons.

PLEASE NOTE: Mister Key AKA MC Luke Freedman posted this, not me, as the Baxto underneath it would have you believe....


Buy another one you rich motherfucker...