SearchMyBlog

27.12.10

RIOT DOG






25.12.10

It Begins...

GUCCI SWEATSHIRT

27.11.10

GHOSTWRITER...

BJORK...

I would very much like to kick bars on the instrumental of this.

22.11.10

CRACK MAGAZINE...

Clock Baxter's most recent feature written by some cunt.

CLICK

17.11.10

SNUFF

16.11.10

SMB autumn/winter range.

15.11.10

IT'S OFFICIAL!!!


14.11.10

THE CAMERA IS STILL ROLLING YOU NOB.

13.11.10

ITS MY PARTY...

This one goes out to all of the CP people that are massive spurs fans.

3.11.10

New Download - DJ Sugai - You Don't Know (2010)


New mixtape out with too many tracks that have been slept on for time... variety of some shit u might know, and you might not know... If you don't know, get to know!

01. Intro
02. The Delusionist - The Movement
03. R.A the Rugged Man - King of the Underground
04. Big Daddy Kane - The Way It's Going Down
05. Krumbsnatcha - Closer to God
06. Reflection Eternal - Ballad of the Black Gold
07. Critcally Acclaimed - For the Future
08. Zion I - Boom Bip
09. Sonny Jim ft Kosyne & Skrien - Trying to Live
10. Planet Asia & 427 - All of these Beats
11. Encore - Filthy
12. Tommy Tee - Horizon
13. Rup - Step
14. Ludacris - M.V.P
15. Mr. Lif - Madness in a Cup
16. Juice - Sincerely
17. Saukrates - Money or Love
18. Fat Joe - That Gangsta Shit
19. Interlude
20. Kotix - Questions
21. 9th Wonder ft Mos Def and Jean Grean - Crooklyn in my Mind
22. Promoe - Material War
23. Common - Food for Funk
24. A.D.O.R - One for the Trouble
25. Cunninglynuists - The South
26. Just Another Dj ft Deeflux - B Boys
27. Ill Bill - Unstoppable
28. Outro

download from here:

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=C76NQWH1

30.10.10

M E E T ...






Sammy B-Side.

The much heralded DJ from the posh side of Chinton, Sammy B-Side has been spinning dubs for Contact Play for the past year or so, a period which he hails as 'the best 12 months of his life'. I met Sammy in Greece because he kept prank calling my hotel room and talking in a french accent. It was then that I knew he was special.

Truth be told, the only reason that CP coerced him into doing the buttons was down to his family celebrity links to 'The Rowdiest Pubs in england' presenter Danny Dyer. Playing shows with Sammy have been described as...

"PWOPPPA NAUGHTEEEY"

"A WIGHHT PWOPPPER TEARR WUP"

and

"FAAAAAKING AAAAAAT OF THIS WUUUUURLD."

26.10.10

Norfolk to Staten Island


I wander lanes with my granddad
we find wonderful things
we find stick guns and copper coin trinkets
red moss lost in the dead stock fog clouds.

Harpsichord wind whistles tickle my mind bristles frivolous
requiems and epitaphs and crossbows and catapults
pigeons and doves look lost in the long grass
We slept late after trips to cathedrals

There was a CD under the hedgerow
left of the oak trees west of Mont-A-Pica
Gramps saw the sunshine splash on the mirror disc
I brushed the soil dust off the golden W

Between weather stained branches and berry chains dancing
we followed routes to the lines of the treasure trove
treasures left waiting for new hands foraging
we took it home and plugged in the stereo

Of all the Sundays draped in a wax jacket wardrobe
this was a discovery – our finest by far
lines of our grid pattern lives lost miniature
36 chambers new to the bungalow.

E L E C T R O M A

16.10.10

ITS MY BIRTHDAY...

and subsequently I can do what the fuck I like. I can go and slap a traffic warden and get away with it as it's my birthday, I could go and piss on Boris Johnson's Brompton and get away with it as it's my birthday, I could even shoot 17 people on the Northern Line and it would be cool as it's my birthday.

I could also post my 5 favourite slow jams of the 90's...

AND I AM GOING TO AS IT IS MY BIRTHDAY.

1 - Bryan Adams - Please Forgive Me

Fuck 'Everything I do' - that tune is for year 7 discos. This is Bryan at his slowest and knarlinest. Look at the love in his eyes when he strokes that dog.



2 - Aaliyah - I Care 4 U

This girl should still be alive - We have been ruthlessly deprived of numerous FHM shoots of her fine self because of her foul end. PS - What the fuck happened to Timbaland?



3 - Chris Isaak - Wicked Game.

This guy is a pimp.



4 - Montell Jordan - Get it on Tonite

What the fuck happened to this guy? Is he still rich? Was he ever rich? He looks rich in this video.



5 - Seal - Kiss from a Rose.

To quote a Jimmy Danger bar - "I'll scar you like that geeza Seal's face."

DOPPELGANGER


LOU CARPENTER FROM NEIGHBOURS

HOGGLE FROM LABYRINTH

Baxter knows himself inside out...

Baxter's kmag interview - look at his face.



http://www.kmag.co.uk/editorial/features/jam-baxter-interview

Rinse out Bashy/Spack out Bashy

For some reason these guys wanted Edward Scissor to do art direction on Bashy's new video - I did it and I also flapped about in the back looking like a right plum.

Can
you
spot
me?

6.10.10

K E Y







John Mclane's oven chips.

Let me tell you, (this took) hours to get ready. It's 100 per cent ground beef sirloin. Top shelf, organic. Showering? Not a problem. I took a shower a couple (of) hours ago... lather, rinse, repeat. Tenderise", he said. He then put salt and pepper onto his head to flavor the 'meat' before inviting Letterman to taste it. The host took a forkful of the beef, but soon after that he walked offstage to spit it out.

2.10.10

The way of the future...

Nosh?

GANGSTER HAIR

Memphis Bleek officially endorses this hair shampoo and this shampoo alone. If you think you are a G then you should probably use this on your head.



IT REPLENISH YOUR GLOW!!!

CAMERA DAY

Flying Lotus has a new record out - here is one of the tracks - i think it is very good - it reminds me of Run Lola Run - I am compelled to kick aggressive freestyles in my girlfriend's face about guns, torture and swimming pool flumes and river rapids whenever I hear it.

30.9.10

BARRELEYESPOOKFISH

Jam Baxter was born in Sarajevo, he was raised by a midget au pair called Victoria Babushkatank who fought in world war 3 with only two spoons and a fork as weapons. Baxter left Sarajevo to pursue a career in street sweeping in East Ham, only to find himself drawn to the art of freestyle product placement rapping and fixing babies ears. After a hugely lucrative sponsorship deal with Speedos fell through due to Baxter's refusal to wax, Baxter turned his attentions towards training for the 2012 olympic ping pong team only to see his hopes dashed by a near fatal porridge stirring accident.

While in hospital recovering from both joggers nipple and tennis elbow, he wrote an album - a double album no less (show off) and it is coming out hella soon. It is called 'SPACK OUT MONDAY/RINSE OUT FRIDAY' and it is good as fuck.

Here is the promo video - look at it with your burnt out skull portals.



Look at all the graphs and shit you can clock on youtube - ill!!!!!!

I can't remember who did these...

but they are nice.



THE SUN NEWSPAPER

KNOWS NO LIMITS!!!

ED SCISSORTONGUES...

Five favourite types of tree to pull a whitey under.

1 - Evergreen Trees: Any tree that has foliage that persists and remains green throughout the year. Perfect for rain cover and warmth. You can climb these fuckers easy too.



2 - Willow Trees : Any tree of the deciduous genus Salix having usually narrow leaves, unisexual flowers borne in catkins, and strong lightweight wood. Usually found near Tesco superstores so gang can go and buy you water and swiss rolls to reduce the effects of the whitey.



3 - Ash Trees : Ash trees are a deciduous pinnate-leaved ornamental or timber trees of the genus Fraxinus. Mostly found on slopes for a perfect whitey-lie-down-recovery-session.



4 - Dogwood Trees : A tree of the genus Cornus often having showy flower-like bracts, known for its hard wood. Fun to look at when you are white and bogging it.



5 - Olive Tree: Olive trees are cultivated largely for their edible fruit, although other olive species are grown for their foliage and wood. This species produces minute white flowers with an immature green, edible fruit that turns bluish or purplish when ripe. Direct source of olive munchies but not great rain coverage.

9.9.10

STAGE GARMS

It was only a matter of time before garms made of meat became the must-have look on road. Only last week I saw some girl on the bendy bus with a tin of Cambpells meatballs strapped to her shinbone and two pukka pies for earrings. It took me a while to embrace it but I am now confidently walking about in my pork chop speedos, chorizo sandles and Pepperami long-johns.

Gaga may be on the front of Vogue with meat all over her man parts, but her meat garm game is weak.

Clock my road-kill-meat-shorts for example.



GET TO KNOW!!!!

(Commissions on request - road kill imported from nordic A-roads and slip-lanes).

28.8.10

What has become of us?

Is it just me or has this blog died a vicious death in recent weeks? This is a little message to all my CP goons - we have loyal and devoted followers that deserve better - literally thousands of them.

IF YOU BLOG IT THEY WILL COME!!

7.7.10

EXCLUSIVE...

Picture of Dike's new MPC!!!

Suff Daddy

Hailing from East Berlin, weighing in at size 12 feet, with a healthy more is more attitude to booze and a penchant for hip hop of the finest vintage, I give you Suff Daddy...

www.suffdaddy.bandcamp.com

I strongly suggest you click the above link. If your too much of a chump to do what I say...



Now do what I say.

21.6.10

Moist Fraff. Still.



Back from the bosom of old Vanny - and back to the blog. Your boy Maurice Morris (of Moist Velvet) absolutely killed it with the 80 soul remix album Moist Fraff. It never got blogged. So I'm blogging it. As well as a super nang Mos Def remix that Kerem and Stan Dudley busted out time ago. Get to know. Or else.



Also, Thai food is far too fucking delicious right now. My guts ache.

12.6.10

Hiatus

COME BACK FROM YOUR EUROPOP ADVENTURES!!

Stop hanging out with these mans....

19.5.10

ummmm

18.5.10

Fuck Insurance.


For the past week, I have been holed up in my room, repeating details to idiots in call centres. All so I can boot Britain for a bit to escape the foul stench of Mount Cameron as its waff cloud spreads throughout the nation. It's his long, podgy, shiny, red face and the fact that he's such an unbelievably smug prick.

But wait. Stop. No... What's that sound in the distance? You can hear it, can't you?

14.5.10

Ed Scissortongue's top 5 horror films.

5 - Gremlins



4 - Evil Dead 2



3 - Big Trouble in Little China



2 - A Nightmare on Elm Street



1 - The Shining

12.5.10

5.5.10

Half Past Calm 2 - Jon Phonix

Yeah mufuckas, Jon Phonix has just released his second producer album which you can download FREE here, heres the tune me and Flips did for it....

29.4.10

and it sounds a little something like this . . . .

All Is Vanity on Antimatter Records - 10th May

Photobucket

28.4.10

ED SCISSORTONGUE'S POTENTIAL MANAGER OF THE WEEK



WONGGGGGGGGGGAAAA.