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30.4.11

GUTS MUDDIER THAN THE BANKS OF THE MUDDY WISHKAH


CLICK ME NOW FUCKHEADS

My mate Miles Courtney (aka MUDGUTS) has entered the Outlook DJ competition. This blog post isn't one of those 'go-and-have-a-listen-to-something-blazzee-blah-etc-etc' posts, it is more a 'YOU-SHOULD-DEFINITELY-HAVE-A-LISTEN-TO-WHAT-THIS-GUY-HAS-CONSTRUCTED-ON-HIS-1'S-AND-2'S-AS-IT-IS-FUCKING-NANG' kind of posts.

I am happy to say that he has come a long way since the days when we were trying to mix Fleetwood Mac and D-ream vinyls in the Big Wide Talk hedquarters circa 2002. If any of you can spare an hour out of your HECTIC LIFESTYLES then have a listen and vote also because this man deserves to go to Croatia.

WE AREN'T ALLOWED THOUGH :(

29.4.11

Oi Scissortongue...

Where the fuck is the rotting pork?

27.4.11

CHICKS WITH STEVE BUSCHEMI'S EYES

IN

STAN

TLY

UN

SMASHABLE.

Jam Baxter - Isis


Baxter done got done a vid for Isis off of his seminal thingameejig Spack Out Montag. Big Flips only gone and filmed, directed, edited and basically MURKED the video for this one. Have a ganders at the Sir Giles Gilbert Scott wonderment of it all peeple.

t

21.4.11

PISSED...

OH SHIT.

SMB TEES


ONLY A FEW LEFT! Go get em while you can! lHERE HERE HERE

20.4.11

WORDPLAY 8 soon come


www.wordplaymag.com

19.4.11

THIS IS JUST A MUSIC VIDEO


When Wiley's not busy advertising jam or making boiled eggs, he makes big boy tunes and music videos.

15.4.11

13.4.11

PEN & PIXEL



REBLOG

5 tracks pulled from the doldrums...

for no specific reason and ordered in a top 5 chart for no real reason apart from the fact that life is a competition and there are only winners (Usain Bolt, Thierry Henry) and losers (Gary Glitter, John Leslie, Peter Crouch - you get the idea) IN THIS LIFE.

5 - Erykah Badu feat. Common - Love Of My Life

Best bar: "I hope that you will realise I got the hazel eyes that'll hypnotise & knock you to your knees - make you eat cheese - you be so hellish you be begging me please."

4 - G Unit - Popping them Thangs

Best bar: "Read the paper look at the news we on the front page - yeah we in the Bahamas with AK's on the stage."

3 - El-P - Deep Space 9mm.

Best bar: "Signed to Rawkus - I'd rather be buttfucked by Nazis unconscious."

2 - Celph Titled - Mad as Fuck

Best bar: "Boom Bang Pow yeah all of that stuff bitch you couldn't fit my dick in a mack truck."

1 - Saian Supa Crew - Angela

Best bar: "à chaque fois qu'tu t'sens seule n'hésite pas compose mon numéro toi-même tu sais qu'une fois d'plus, ce sera très chaud."

Next week - top 5 Eiffel 65 tunes.

12.4.11

DJ CRUMP'S HISTORY LESSON.

Dj Crump is doing it on the reggatonies. Smokemyblog is happy to report that Crump will be splattering his skills all over this blog whenever he wishes from this moment onwards as he has several hundred ears for music.

Crumps Hip Hop History Mix 1979 - 2010 by Crump

This one mix right here is what Crump likes to call the 'Hip Hop History mix - 1979 - 2010' - Now tell me that doesn't sound both nang and hella ambitious in equal measure? Just thinking of where one would start with a mix like this would make most DJ's heads explode. I can think of a bunch of DJs that would like to think they could pull this one off BUT THEY ARE WRONG.

A TRACK A YEAR MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I for one would probably find completing 72 rubix cubes simultaenously easier than whittling a track selection out of 30+ years of hip hop history, but Crump done gone did it, however, I find it rather disrespectful that there isn't a CP track in there somewhere rofl rofl.

Here is the playlist...

1979 Grandmaster Flash – Superappin
1980 Disco Dave & The Crashcrew - High Power Rap
1981 Treacherous Three - Feel The Heartbeat
1982 Jimmy Spicer - Bubble Bunch
1983 CD III - Get Tough
1984 Fat Boys - Jail House Rap
1985 Boogie Boys - A Fly Girl
1986 Stetsasonic - Go Stetsa
1987 Superlover Cee & Casanova Rud - Do Da James
1988 LL Cool J - Jack The Ripper
1989 Three Times Dope - Funky Dividends
1990 King Tee - At Your Own Risk (Marley Marl Remix)
1991 MC Breed - Aint No Future in Yo' Frontin
1992 Chi Ali – Funky Lemonade (Remix)
1993 Ice Cube – Check Yo Self (Remix)
1994 Da Bush Babees – We Run Things
1995 Dr Dre – Keep Their Heads Ringin’
1996 Large Professor – Ijustwannachill
1997 Rampage – Wild For Da Night
1998 Pete Rock – Tru Master
1999 Naughty By Nature – Jamboree
2000 Wu Tang Clan – Protect Ya Neck (The Jump Off)
2001 Mr Cheeks – Lights, Camera, Action!
2002 Nas – Get Down
2003 Freeway – What We Do
2004 Timbaland & Magoo – Cop That Shit
2005 The Game – Hate It Or Love It
2006 Too Short – Blow The Whistle
2007 Pharoahe Monch – Body Baby
2008 Busta Rhymes – Don’t Touch Me
2009 Blaq Poet – Ain’t Nuttin Changed
2010 Big Boi – Shutterbugg

11.4.11

This...

goes out to all my piss soldiers.

This...



handstyle is dope.

Let it be known...

I think David Cameron is a dick. 

That is all.

10.4.11

Bling Bling.

9.4.11

BIG PHARAOHE!!

So I went and clocked the ever nang Pharaohe Monch at the Scala last night. The new material sounds super ill too and Simon Says was just ridiculous.

This is what it sounded and looked like...


new shit


old shit


Edmond and Pharaohe BFF.

These are some crying jokers.



If you reload it with your eyes closed, it sort of sounds like a duet between pre-crack smoking Whitney Houston (Skip to 3.33, for the balls out fire-starting key change - shouts to Rachel.) and the late, great, Barry White (seen here via live satellite link-up with heaven).

8.4.11

BUT THIS LOOK IS STRONGER...



I cannot think of a worse job than standing on Oxford street covered head-to-toe in dayglo tracksuit on a day where temperatures reached 22 degrees just to point people in the direction of a waxing salon. What in the flying fuck is going on? Still, credit to the guy for holding it down. I for one am nicely waxed and slightly oranger due to his directional assistance.

7.4.11

EDWARD SCISSORTONGUE STACKS PAPES!!


Meat Love

I DONT GET IT?

Loads a mysterious build up to a load a nuffing. I used to like ill bill, now i think its fucking boring, same with Necro. Stop trying to be all cinematic and dark Bill. go back to the crack shed and rape your cancer victims with your brother, it suited you better.
All this poor mans gothica shit is bollox and it makes you look like a wanker.


STAGE GARM.

6.4.11

STROKE OF GENIUS.

This is amazing. I am particularly in love with this video as I used to be a street plodding letter posting staffordshire bull terrier target myself. Postmen know the score. Postmen rappers definitely know the score. Postmens mum's are wearing the earrings that you sent your mum in the post for her birthday. Postmen are spending the money you sent in the post on fingerless gloves and strippers. Postmen are watching ALL THE LOVE FILM AND AMAZON DVD'S THEY FUCKING WANT!!!

POSTMEN RULE THE FUCKING WORLD!!!!!

THIS IS A STRONG LOOK.



Garms that do not allow you to move in certain directions are dope.

DIRTY DIKE IS FUCKING ROLING DOWN THE STREET THROWING PORK PIES FOR JOKE.

Dirty Dike raps sober.FREEDOWNLOAD!!!

For the first time in maybe 5 years the bed shitting rap wanker from the mighty HIGHFOCUS RECORDS, performed SOBER.
Is this the start of things to come? is dike gonna turn into one of those 'normal' boring serious rappers that everyone cant be patronized buy any longer? NAAAAAAA MATE, its still as jokes and fun as ever.
He's dropping some live bits from the CONSTANT DIKESTAR project, but mostly showing you a load of new verses from his and JAM BAXTERS coming album, some new shit from his next solo album with MR. BOSS, and standardly dropping freestyles about his balls and people with shit hair and whatever.
The whole SMB clan are notorious for turning up completely fucked for alot of shows, for any keen heads you'll know about dike getting banned from this show for drugs, drinking and swearing live in the studio in his younger years, and the second show not ever getting aired sue to similar incidents.
This time he has firmly held it down with one hand and only had a couple zoots on the way, so theres no worriesindadance!!!! FREEDOWNLOAD YO!!!!!!!105FM RHYME PAD RADIO!
http://soundcloud.com/rhymepadradioshow-105fm/rhymepadradio-with-special?utm_source=soundcloud

Special Delivery

Innit.

YEAH RIGHT.

DIKE IS A HATER.

CHUBBY RAIN.

BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT YOU WERE THIRSTY...



Bieber takes one to the jizzaw.

GO ON MY SON!!!

Eli recording new shit in the flyest booth ever. ARABIAN NIGHTS STYLE BOOTH FTW (or maybe one of the offices in the Fez).

Anyway, this guy got caned on the web for that infamous Iron Mic battle video, and everyone presumed that he was bonkers, but the guy is recording PURE UNADULTERATED KRUNK.

"Wherever my mind take me in the song that's where I go" - tell me that isn't the dopest sentence ever?



AND WHO THE FUCK DO THESE BLACKBERRY / IPHONE RAPPERS THINK THEY ARE? AT LEAST COME WITH YOUR BARS WORD PROCESSED ON AN IPAD 2. FOR FUCKS SAKE.

5.4.11

JACKSON WAS A DANCING SKAGHEAD PEDOPHILE.

continuos middle finger for Funk master flex.

He never puts that shit down. HAHAHA.

I dont suck Tu-pac's dick either Funk master flex? shiiiiiiit.

FUCK EATING SHIT AND GETTING FISTED!!

ITS OFFICAL!! SAMMY B SIDE IS GETTING MARRIED

As some of you may know Contact plays celebrity dj, part time lady killer, full time danny dyer's little brother, Sammy B side, has been in Thailand in search of 'the meat sound' to bring back to the contact play HQ.
We have recently found out that he has fallen in love whilst working as a spunk scrubber in a skanky brothel in bangkok. He say's this will not effect the progress of the new mix tape from him and dirty dike 'the misadventures of dirty dike', however he will be leaving us as our dj as he now has a duty to his new wife and her 7 kids.
I am happy for him but it is a shame we never found 'the meat sound'.
oh and sorry ladies you cant compete with this bitch he's copped..check......


PURE SKILLS.


This shit is heavy. The dudes not lying man. I was like "yooooo, what the fuck is that"??? and the piece just said "yo man, VANDALISM" dope, fucking ill.

DOPE ART WORK


Here is an amazing display of hatred toward the infamous 'Carl' on a classic british road sign.
What i like mostly about this to the point master piece, is its brutal reflection of the stern yet expressive world we live in today. Some times you just gotta go out there in the middle of the night with a bottle of gin and and a marker pen and tell the whole b6051 that carl is a fat cunt.

Fuck you carl....your a fat cunt!

THE SCISSORTONGUE FAMILY (1988)

(Top left: Mother scissortongue. Top right: Pappa scissortongue. Bottom left: Edward scissortongue Centre: Sammy B side.)

RUTHLESS HATRED TOWARD THE POLICE.

Look! Some people really must hate the police here. They have painted an entire train carriage with the exact words "fuck da police".
I wish the police would just bloody behave themselves so we dont have to put up with this nonsense.

THIS BLOKES A FUCKING DICK!!

If i find anything i should just ignore offensive, it's smiling happy little ring pieces like this this fraggle of a "rapper".
Its like he just quit his job at the dinsney store for being too fucking smug and happy.
I was recently told by a promoter that he was booking him for a uk gig, i might head down with some shit filled balloons and bunch of rape dinosaurs to puke all over his happygowanky show, and assault all the pre pubescent groupies.
Who listens to this music and enjoys it? am i missing something? if so what?

TIME FOR THE RANGOOSE!!!

So this is arguably the best tune ever made. You may think you are a pimp but unless you have at least one wall in your house covered in condoms then you are not. This video also proves that I am not the only person on the planet who finds putting jumpers on well tricky.

That mumble bar at the end is ill and Flirta D is the best fucking emcee ever.

4.4.11

Pimp Convention



"Chocolate Giddyup"

Strong Look.

GUN OF THE WEEK!!

Check this badboy knifegun.

NEW MIC ORDER PART TWO!!!

It's 2:45 in the morning and im just smacking my mpc with a starry glazed glare thinking about having a zoot or a bowl of "kraves", when i clock the "New mic order Pt 2" album has dropped!!!
Completely out the blue for me, i had no idea this was coming. BANGING surprise.
Chester has been a huge influence to me, and like with any of your greats you worry they might die out every time they have a quiet spot. NO! And he's fresh as always. AND its only a fucking five sheet!!
Well worth a purchase mate.




http://chesterp.bandcamp.com/

3.4.11

This guy...

PIKEY PABLO

I NICKED THIS OFF ANOTHER BLOG - AND WHAT!!!!!!!!

EXCLUSIVE SMB TEEA!!!!! BUY OR DIE.

Get you and your fat misses an exclusive limited edition SMB T shirt now. Then you can be representing like a mafuggin real creamslice. They are made from 100% fair trade organic stabbed dog.
If you want to be better than all your friends and make your peers insecure, rock this look. CLICK HERE NOW!!!

peace out flickbeans.

EMO SUNDAY.

Burial, Four Tet & Thom Yorke - Mirror

LISTEN TO THIS UNTIL THE END - I PROMISE YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT.

CLOCK MY NEW CREPES!!!



had my eyes on these Air Pork One's for a while now.

SLAM



I have probably blogged about this before but I don't give a fuck. Is it just me or are all the best films shown on Channel 4 at 3:35am?

PS - Motherfucking is the best word ever.

GUN OF THE WEEK!!

.......Start duckin.

1.4.11

When is ...

Sammy B-Side coming back from Thailand?

0jwKSt on Make A Gif, Animated Gifs

Verb T presents the 'Self Ish EP'



Verb T has dun gone done it again with his latest offering the 'Self Ish EP'. Featuring big Flips at the mid-way-point, this self produced release is not one to have a kip on. Also, you can clock a real insight into Mr T's writing style by clicking on the 'Lyrics' tab linked to each tune on his Bandcamp site.

GO AND HAVE A LISTEN AND SNAP IT UP ALSO YOUS LOT.