M E E T ...

Sammy B-Side.

The much heralded DJ from the posh side of Chinton, Sammy B-Side has been spinning dubs for Contact Play for the past year or so, a period which he hails as 'the best 12 months of his life'. I met Sammy in Greece because he kept prank calling my hotel room and talking in a french accent. It was then that I knew he was special.

Truth be told, the only reason that CP coerced him into doing the buttons was down to his family celebrity links to 'The Rowdiest Pubs in england' presenter Danny Dyer. Playing shows with Sammy have been described as...

"PWOPPPA NAUGHTEEEY"

"A WIGHHT PWOPPPER TEARR WUP"

and

"FAAAAAKING AAAAAAT OF THIS WUUUUURLD."

Norfolk to Staten Island

I wander lanes with my granddad
we find wonderful things
we find stick guns and copper coin trinkets
red moss lost in the dead stock fog clouds.

Harpsichord wind whistles tickle my mind bristles frivolous
requiems and epitaphs and crossbows and catapults
pigeons and doves look lost in the long grass
We slept late after trips to cathedrals

There was a CD under the hedgerow
left of the oak trees west of Mont-A-Pica
Gramps saw the sunshine splash on the mirror disc
I brushed the soil dust off the golden W

Between weather stained branches and berry chains dancing
we followed routes to the lines of the treasure trove
treasures left waiting for new hands foraging
we took it home and plugged in the stereo

Of all the Sundays draped in a wax jacket wardrobe
this was a discovery – our finest by far
lines of our grid pattern lives lost miniature
36 chambers new to the bungalow.

E L E C T R O M A

ITS MY BIRTHDAY...

and subsequently I can do what the fuck I like. I can go and slap a traffic warden and get away with it as it's my birthday, I could go and piss on Boris Johnson's Brompton and get away with it as it's my birthday, I could even shoot 17 people on the Northern Line and it would be cool as it's my birthday.

I could also post my 5 favourite slow jams of the 90's...

AND I AM GOING TO AS IT IS MY BIRTHDAY.

1 - Bryan Adams - Please Forgive Me

Fuck 'Everything I do' - that tune is for year 7 discos. This is Bryan at his slowest and knarlinest. Look at the love in his eyes when he strokes that dog.



2 - Aaliyah - I Care 4 U

This girl should still be alive - We have been ruthlessly deprived of numerous FHM shoots of her fine self because of her foul end. PS - What the fuck happened to Timbaland?



3 - Chris Isaak - Wicked Game.

This guy is a pimp.



4 - Montell Jordan - Get it on Tonite

What the fuck happened to this guy? Is he still rich? Was he ever rich? He looks rich in this video.



5 - Seal - Kiss from a Rose.

To quote a Jimmy Danger bar - "I'll scar you like that geeza Seal's face."

DOPPELGANGER

LOU CARPENTER FROM NEIGHBOURS

HOGGLE FROM LABYRINTH

Baxter knows himself inside out...

Baxter's kmag interview - look at his face.



http://www.kmag.co.uk/editorial/features/jam-baxter-interview

Rinse out Bashy/Spack out Bashy

For some reason these guys wanted Edward Scissor to do art direction on Bashy's new video - I did it and I also flapped about in the back looking like a right plum.

Can
you
spot
me?

K E Y

John Mclane's oven chips.

Let me tell you, (this took) hours to get ready. It's 100 per cent ground beef sirloin. Top shelf, organic. Showering? Not a problem. I took a shower a couple (of) hours ago... lather, rinse, repeat. Tenderise", he said. He then put salt and pepper onto his head to flavor the 'meat' before inviting Letterman to taste it. The host took a forkful of the beef, but soon after that he walked offstage to spit it out.

The way of the future...

Nosh?

GANGSTER HAIR

Memphis Bleek officially endorses this hair shampoo and this shampoo alone. If you think you are a G then you should probably use this on your head.



IT REPLENISH YOUR GLOW!!!

CAMERA DAY

Flying Lotus has a new record out - here is one of the tracks - i think it is very good - it reminds me of Run Lola Run - I am compelled to kick aggressive freestyles in my girlfriend's face about guns, torture and swimming pool flumes and river rapids whenever I hear it.