COMMING SOON is the new video from the mega sick bad fresh album "constant dikestar" titled "PORK PIE". You know the drill, dike.....being a wanker....in public. You can clock the EPIC cameo's from the big dinosaur himself FLIPTRIX, and the slimey fishman that is JAM BAXTER. no pork pies were harmed in the making of this video. however, one seagull was killed.
Jesus! so this is the new dre tune. fucking shit. Skuff put me on to this manwank cupboard of awkwardness late one friday at a half built radio lock up. Is it just me or do you get the impression they've been pummeling each other in the rusty bullet hole?
did dre actually crash a car? why? what? i love my friends but fuck off.
BBC 5Live film critic and Skiffle enthusiast, Mark Kermode, has been sending for the CP DJ Sammy B-Side. Not only has he been spreading lies about the lack of love he gets from men, but he's had the bare faced cheek to circulate rumours that Sammy has been pretending to be Laurence Olivier. In my book thats a strait-up bitch move.
Whilst promoting the release of his new self help book 'Help Yourself', Sammy decided to set the record strait...
Jammy B was too lame to blog this shit - I think he has blogging allergies - he would rather post it on Facebook because less buttons need pressing - but kudos for bringing it to my attention Jammy B - I for one am SUPER FUCKING PSYCHED about this record; Pharaohe Monch is despicably rad but I have to say that I am slightly prang about all this war talk jibber jabber. I reckon an episode of Dispatches might do the job better than the medium of rap but then again I have not even listened to the maafucker yet.
I would just like to take this opportunity to congratulate Mr Key for signing professional terms with Arsenal Football Club. Key is so underground that he can find the time to cultivate his tekkers to a level the likes of Cesc Fabregas and RVP are rating as DOPE AS FUCK!!!!!
Fresh out of the recovery position and into the fire.
So the Smokemybeef blog is two years old and like any other two year old it has just about figured out how to walk to the fridge to get another beer, roll a backflip in the dark and get banned from Outlook. Still, at least this milestone has got certain peeps interested again and word on the street is that Dirty Dike (definitely), Jammy B (hopefully) and Mr Key (unlikely) are all jumping back on the posting bandwagon!!
The jury is still out on whether to give Sammy B-Side posting rights.
I am thinking NO.
Now I know that Ronnie B and myself have been piping on about competitions and giveaways and nangness and other dope shit, but you guys are just going to have to hold on a little longer before we pick our winners. We have been inundated, literally INUNDATED with entries. Here is a picture of our secretary Marilyn with the piles of evidence...
To keep you interested while we sift through the letters and emails and sign for all the recorded deliveries and take all the little diddy rolled up entries off of carrier pigeon's ankles, here is some footage of Don Vito going nuts...
If you haven't clocked 'Big Ghost Chronicles', then do so. Quickly. I'm still undecided if its an elaborate fake or if Ghostface has really been battering the blogosphere. But either way it's funny as a fat chick falling over. In his most recent post, Starks dishes out the Pretty Toney Awards. Categories include 'Hottest Chick In The Game', 'Baddest White Broad Alive', 'Most Garbage Ass Nigga Breathin' and 'The Gay Merlin Award'. Namsayin.
And for absolutely no other reason than it being nang...
Here's Chemo smashing it like a plates at a greek wedding. Roc Marciano delivering a fresh sack of deepness. The limited edition 7" is apparently going like hotcakes...
Dikestar has only gone and jumped on the interview roundabout with this supremely entertaining read. I don't know about you lot but Dike sounds like he was a right little BASTARD when he was a kid.
My favourite quote by a country mile...
"I started getting HHC and putting the posters on my wall and bumping Onyx “Slam” whilst waving a bb gun in the air."
Scissortongue said that he's going to dash some free stuff at followers, I said I'm going to do the same. Then after doing some tedious admin to make this blog more nang FOR YOU - I noticed that its the SmokeMyBlog's 2nd birthday on Friday. It probably makes sense to do the do in honour of us waffling to no one but ourselves for a couple of years.
We got CDs out the ass. Stickers for days. Dirty Dike has promised to add his lucky underpants to the prize fund. Mr. Key is going to make you the omelette of your choice. I'm in talks with Baxter about him auctioning an evening with Smackbot (The robot sent back from the future to write his bars for him).
But there ain't nothing free in this life... And here's where you start paying... IN MEAT. I want to see some pictures or videos of you weirdos enjoying SMB and meat, in equal measure. The redder, the better. So send your meat based media to smokemyblog@gmail.com.
Verb T the enforcer, Jammy Bacharach, Fliptrix the giant and DJ MADNICE represented x1000 at the HMV Forum last night as support to Raekwon the chef.
This is what it looked like from where I was standing - hopefully Sugai can stick some videos up at some point so we can see what it both moved and sounded like...
Nonsense aside, I would just like to say RIP NATE DOGG.
Of all the musical movements that have made their way across the pond since my ears got passionate about music, the Long Beach G-funk era is up there as arguably the most profound. Nate Dogg will always be remembered as the most iconic 'voice' in rap.
It is a statistical fact that if you are responsible for 92.75% of all the love ballads that exist on this planet that you will (one day) impregnate a female. All of that unadulterated rhymebook lust merchanting has come good for the Prince of Thieves LEGEND at the tender age of 51.
I remember selling loads of FULLY DOPE toys at a car boot sale when I was about 8 in order to raise money for my sister's secondary school uniform costs (man my family were gay) back in the day. They raked it in - I single handedly funded her PE kit, and the one thing I got as a thank you was 'Everything I do' on cassette single. I am trying to sound pissed off about this, but at the time I WAS FUCKING LOVING THAT TAPE!!!
