Midas touch finger poke straight to the retina 64

I used to work in computer games - it was dope (ish). There is something fairly special about working in a place where pretty much everything you do contributes to something that is not real - I was into it. Sitting in meetings discussing axes, new powerups and powerful chinese crime syndicates who-steal-credit-card-details-in-order-to-set-up-automated-accounts-that-illegally-macro-in-game-gold-pieces-that-are-then-sold-for-real-money-on-the-black-market are jokes meetings to be in.

Then again it is all a massive pile of pixelated shit, is it not?

If you were to ask me right now what I was going on about I would struggle to give you a straight answer, however, what I do know is that this post exists to document the work of a musician who I rate up there with the greats - Dilla, Premier, Hi-tek, RZA, Mr Avocado - the heavyweights.

His name is Grant Kirkhope and he looks quite like Daykin.

This guy's opus is the score for the Nintendo N64's most iconic and (arguably) best release EVER - Goldeneye 64. Just check this out for a game synopsis...

"The player assumes the role of James Bond as he fights to prevent a syndicate from using a satellite weapon against London to cause a global financial meltdown."


Now i'm not really one for the whole James Bond franchise and I certainly don't own one of the breezeblock boxsets that you can buy off massive crates in the entrance of HMV (and not just because you need a forklift truck to get one to the checkout) - I also think Daniel Craig looks like a right twat jumping in between cranes in his Specially fitted Sunspel polo shirt, but enough about all that - I just back Goldeneye 64 as arguably the dopest game I have ever played.

Remember Donkey Kong Mode? Paintball mode? Getting shot to death over and over and over again? Remember all out war with anything up to 4 players and getting branded "Most cowardly" and "Where's the body armour?" Remember how it was actually illegal to play as Oddjob?

All ^ of ^ these ^ things ^ were ^ dope, but the standout element of this juvenile analog stickswivelling activity was the musical score of which I have tracked down a page which has EVERY SINGLE TRACK ON IT!!!!!!

Dirty Dike and myself have had energetic conversations in the past about doing a Goldeneye mixtape - quite possibly the raddest idea ever - and I am fairly confident it will happen in the next 20-30 years. I just need to hit a 187 on a snooker table, bowl a perfect 300 at tenpin and become the best maker of a toad in the hole this side of Chiswick first.

PS - If anyone steals this idea and makes said mixtape then you are gay but I am not sweating it as I know that OUR MIXTAPE WILL BE BETTER THAN YOURS.

Next week - Pilotwings.


  1. 147 on a snooker table unless you gonna merk Ronnie O'Sullivan. Godfrey

  2. how's about you SUCK MY DICK GODFREY.